Stupid Shit People Have Said At My New "Job"

People, stop listening to the Diesel ads, it's a shitty brand and it's a bad idea.  Actually, don't because I wouldn't have as much to write about.

POW POW POW.. amaazing

-"Is poultry considered a fish?"

-"My mom is half Panamanian and Nicaraguan, my dad half Mexican and Filipino, so my mom speaks Panamanian."

-"Aren't Thailand and Taiwan the same thing?"...
 "Thai people are like, the most revered Asians.  We have tiers, just like Spanish people.  You wouldn't call a Dominican a Puerto Rican, just like us... My grandmother hates my Laos step-mom and the other Laos people she brings around."
 (I asked, "Do you mean Laotian?", she responded with "yeah, low-aaaa-tion")

-"I loooove seafood, last night I cooked salmon or tilapia or swordfish, I don't remember." and also         "What's the one where you eat it out it's shell?"
"Oysters or clams?"
"Yeah, I don't remember which one I had, but I loooved it."

-"I know that Pittsburgh is on the West Coast, right?" followed by
"Whatever, I only go to Europe, I'm just here because I have citizenship. I'm like in Germany, and like in England, in Europe you know.  In Hamburg, that's in Germany, you know."

-"Giving the customer a taste from a bottle is ONLY wine, you never pour a taste of champagne." As told to by the manager accompanied with a glare and tone that implied I KNOW NOTHING about service.

-I did have a great heart to heart with a bartender about how to survive prison, he spent some time in Pelican Bay or San Quentin, I don't remember... He taught me how to make proper shanks, how to inject heroin without a needle, smoke crack, infect someone with a feces-covered pork bone so that the bone splinters inside the victim, how to avoid becoming a "bitch", and most importantly how to stack your paper while still inside.